


Christmas Compatibility

by pandapresident



Category: Rune Factory 4
Genre: M/M, sweeter than all your christmas candy combined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3087896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandapresident/pseuds/pandapresident
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doug has a sneaky plan for Christmas that'll result in an accidental, almost-date for him and Dylas. But do Doug's ideas ever go as planned?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Compatibility

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this not-so-timely Christmas fic! I blame the second coming of an evil cold and an exceptionally persistent migraine for its delay.

“It's just all so commercial,” Dylas grumbled as he pored over the Christmas brochures at the general store. 

“No shit,” Doug said, reclining in his seat behind the counter. “We're a shop. Being commercial is kind of what we do for a living.”

“Not you,” Dylas said, flicking a hand in Doug's direction. “I meant all these advertisements. Trying to cash in on Christmas.”

He ran a finger down the quartered page. The words were squished together; advertising space was pricey at this time of the year. Bold and italics and different font sized were all utilised as weapons to fight for his attention, but the overall effect was headache inducing. 

“So don't buy from them.” Doug made to pull the brochure back but Dylas grabbed it from his grasp. 

“It's not my choice,” he said, turning to rest against the counter. His back was aching after being bent over brochure for so long. “Someone needs to order ingredients for the Christmas special we're doing at the restaurant.”

“So you're just as guilty as they are in cashing in on Christmas, then,” Doug said.

“Maybe Porcoline is,” Dylas corrected him. “But in my day we didn't do all these presents.”

“What do you mean, 'all these'?” Doug asked, crossing his arms. “It's just a toy or two for the kids.”

“More than we got,” Dylas said. “And you think it'll stop there?”

“You're sounding older than Granny right now.”

“One day, when we have kids, they'll be demanding a whole new toy box at Christmas time!”

“Oh, they will not,” Doug scoffed. 

“They'll – they'll make a list of demands for their parents! And the adverts won't be contained in neat little brochures, they'll be plastered on the walls-”

“Yeah, no,” Doug said, snatching the brochure from Dylas's grip. “I don't think you should look at that any more; you're coming out with the weirdest predictions.”

“But the Christmas order-”

“Just give me a list of what you need and I'll sort out the particulars,” Doug said. It wasn't a thrilling prospect, but it was better than listening to Dylas worrying about kids in the future being swamped with toys. “You need anything else? A date for Christmas, maybe?”

Dylas's brow wrinkled. “You don't sell those,” he said.

“No, we don't. I was insulting you,” Doug said. “By implying that you don't already have one.”

“Like you do?”

“Not the point!” Doug said.

“Anyway, I agreed to take care of the washing up on Christmas so Porcoline and Meg can go enjoy themselves,” Dylas said. “What's your excuse, dateless?”

“I have time to get a date!” He glanced up at the clock. “Speaking of which, your shift's starting soon.”

“Great,” Dylas said, straightening up and stretching. “Thanks for taking care of the ordering for me.”

“No sweat,” Doug said, waving him off. 

For some reason or another, Doug didn't bother to try chasing anyone for a Christmas date, yet his stomach still felt like Amber had filled it with butterflies when he woke up on Christmas morning. He had the vaguest inkling of a plan; all he needed was to keep his nerve and follow it. 

And also to sort out the produce order for the restaurant. He thumbed through the thick volume of dense advertisements and groaned. He was too soft of that guy at times.

Christmas arrived along with an appropriate sprinkling of snow. Porcoline picked up the delivery in the morning and praised Doug's careful selection of items. Doug told him that if he sampled any before getting to the restaurant he'd tell on him to Margaret. Porcoline left, wailing that all his children were ganging up on him these days.

“What does he mean?” Doug asked Blossom, his brow furrowed. “I get that he thinks of the others as his kids, but I'm not.”

After a dinner of rice porridge that he barely touched, Doug joined the rest of the guys hanging out in front of the castle. They were all present except for Dylas, precisely as he'd expected. He waved hello in the most lethargic, casual way possible. He'd lived in Selphia as a spy for years; how hard could hiding his nerves right now be in comparison?

“Missing your boyfriend?” Leon asked. 

“No!” Doug said. “What boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend!”

Leon made a token attempt to conceal his amusement behind his fan. Doug fumed. This was not how things were supposed to start. Why was it that Dylas was such a weak spot for him?

“Where is Dylas, anyway?” Vishnal asked. The confusion on Kiel's face cleared up.

“Oh, right!” he said. “Dylas is Doug's boyfriend.”

“Is not!”

“He's cleaning up at the restaurant,” Arthur said. Doug rounded on him, about to demand why he was paying such close attention to Dylas's movements, before remembering that they worked in the same building. Dammit, he needed to get his calm back. 

“Glad to see you're not following in his steps,” he said, trying to cover up for his odd actions. “Ha, imagine working on Christmas!”

“He told me I'd never make him a workhorse,” Arthur said, a far-off look in his eyes. “But look at him now.”

Doug wondered if he'd ever used the term 'workhorse' on Dylas. He didn't think so, but there were so many horse puns to make it was hard to keep track of them all. 

“It's really very admirable!” Vishnal said, his face lit up with passion. “Perhaps this new year will bring with it a new Dylas!”

“Or perhaps he'll wear himself out before the new year has even begun,” Leon said.

“Ha, sucks to be him!” Doug said. Vishnal looked distressed.

“We can't have that!” he said. A sense of foreboding hit Doug. 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“We should go and help!”

“Yeah!” Kiel said. “That's the Christmas spirit!”

Doug was less enthusiastic. “Who wants to spend Christmas cleaning up?” he asked, appealing to Arthur and Leon.

“Dylas has done a lot of cooking and cleaning on my behalf,” Arthur said. “It seems right that I should help him now.”

“Leon?” Doug asked, his voice wavering.

“Why not?” he asked in return. “The work'll go much faster with the bunch of us.”

They started to walk up towards the restaurant. Doug trailed behind, wondering how his ever so simple plan of getting to be alone with Dylas on Christmas could be so easily derailed. They were supposed to all hang out for a bit, like they always did, before Doug finally announced that he was going to go watch Dylas working. By that point any stragglers in the restaurant would have left, leaving the two of them all alone. Doug would eventually concede to help Dylas with the cleaning. As they finished when most of the town was heading to bed, Doug would spill his secret plan of going up the tower to make his wish. Dylas wouldn't be able to resist coming along to wish on the highest star. It was a sketch of a plan, but he'd thought that the details he did have down were pretty solid until Vishnal wrecked it all.

“Restaurant's closed,” Dylas called as they came in, not bothering to turn around. 

“That's why we came!” Kiel said, joining Dylas at the sink. “Six sets of hands are better than one, right?”

“Huh?” Dylas turned around, still scrubbing a pot. His eyes widened as he took in the group of them. “What're you doing here? Go home and enjoy yourselves!”

“See?” Doug said. “He doesn't want us here.”

“I'll wipe down the tables,” Leon said.

“I'll sweep up!” Vishnal said, brandishing a broom like a spear.

“I shall...erm...” Arthur trailed off. 

“You can put stuff away,” Dylas said, relenting. “You know better than anyone here other than me.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said, stationing himself beside Kiel, who had leapt on a pile of cleaned items waiting to be dried. 

“What about me?” Doug protested. 

“You can go home if you'd like,” Leon said, grinning at him over one of the long tables. Vishnal whizzed behind him with the broom. “I think we have it covered here.”

“No fair!” Doug rounded on Dylas. “Tell me what to do!”

Dylas looked flushed. Had he been working that hard? Doug suddenly felt bad for waiting so long to help with the avalanche of work he'd been left with. 

“I-I guess you could mop the places Vishnal's swept,” he said.

“Got it!” Doug said, seizing the mop from behind the counter. He'd show Dylas who was the best worker and most helpful in the group.

“Hey, is that a new cologne?” Kiel asked Dylas. “It smells good!”

Doug gritted his teeth. Yep, he'd show them all, especially the ones who'd slipped into the cushy jobs that he'd intended for himself.

An hour later the restaurant was cleaned. Doug and Vishnal had proven that they were undoubtedly the best at slipping over on wet floors, but Doug received no other accolades for his work. They all sat down for hot chocolate (except Dylas, who warmed up some milk for himself instead) and no-one seemed to be in any rush to leave.

“No-one has any dates this year either?” Kiel asked. The question was pointedly ignored by everyone. “Oh! Except for Dylas and Doug, of course.”

“Huh?” Dylas said, setting down his mug.

“That's why we came to help, right? So you two could have a date later?”

Dylas rounded on Doug, who pointed at Leon. 

“He's been messing with Kiel again!” he said, then glared at Kiel. “I told you, we're not boyfriends!”

And probably won't be, he thought, especially not if everyone keeps trampling over my plans.

Kiel looked unconvinced. “Vishnal?”

“Yes?”

“Are they?”

“Oh! Um,” Vishnal said, biting his lip. He glanced at Arthur for help. Arthur carefully avoided his gaze. “I don't...think so?”

“Why are you taking his word for it but not mine?” Doug asked, slamming his mug on the table. Hot chocolate ricocheted from side to side in his mug and spilled out over the cusp. Leon tutted.

“I just cleaned that table.”

“You always said you weren't even friends,” Kiel said. “So you're not the most reliable source.”

“What about me?” Dylas asked. “I'm a reliable source and I say that we're not boyfriends!”

The sentence squelched into Doug like a knife stabbing a soft, vulnerable bit of flesh. Sure, it was the truth, but did Dylas need to squash it that harshly?

“Mm,” Kiel said, looking away from Dylas's glowering face. 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You go on a lot of dates together,” Kiel said. “I'm not stupid.”

“We do not!” Dylas said.

“We've never been on a single date!” Doug said.

“That's right,” said Dylas.

“You just happen to be together a lot of the time?” Kiel asked. Doug squirmed. He'd hoped he could pass that off as coincidence.

“Yeah,” Dylas said, shrugging. “He has a way of getting under my feet.”

“Are you cracking jokes at my expense right now?” Doug asked, kicking Dylas under the table. 

“Turn of phrase,” Dylas said. “Can't you overlook it?”

“That's it!” Doug said, kicking his seat back. “You want to take this outside?”

Kiel sighed. “Do you really expect me to believe these childish distractions are genuine?”

“Ah,” Leon said. “I think Kiel has been giving you too much credit. Kiel, they're both idiots with short tempers.” Kiel looked at him doubtfully. “But to my knowledge they are not, in fact, dating each other.”

“You're not just all hiding it from me?” Kiel asked. Arthur raised his eyebrows.

“Why would we do that?” he asked.

“I dunno, because they're both guys? Some of the books I've read suggested that's kind of scandalous.”

“I'm going to bed,” Dylas said, standing up suddenly. “You can keep on dissecting my love life without me.”

“I'm off too,” Doug muttered, edging towards the door. “See you.”

The falling snow was a welcome relief for his burning cheeks. He trudged up the observatory steps. He felt hollow inside, but his body was heavy and it took him longer than usual to reach the top. Doug scanned the sky, dimly wondering which star to pick. His heart jolted as he heard footsteps approaching from the stairs inside the tower. If he wanted to make a wish he'd better act fast; he didn't want to be stuck with anyone right now.

“Doug?” Dylas asked.

Anyone, that is, except maybe for Dylas. Doug let go of the railing to turn around and make sure he hadn't imagined the voice behind him. 

“I thought you were going to bed?” he asked. Dylas shrugged and came to stand beside Doug.

“I figured after a Christmas like that I needed a wish,” he said. Doug nodded sympathetically and patted his arm.

“I know what you mean.”

“Who would trust Leon over me?” Dylas burst out. 

“Or me?” 

“Forte needs to keep a closer eye on that kid,” Dylas muttered. 

“Yeah,” Doug agreed. 

Silence washed over the two of them. Doug realised that Dylas was almost certainly making his wish, so he hurried up to make his own. It's only a single word but he doesn't know how much time he has to make it. He hoped he caught Dylas's wish in time to tie the two of them together. 

Down below, the restaurant doors opened and the rest of the guys, minus themselves and Arthur, spilled out on to the streets of Selphia. Doug grabbed Dylas's arm and pulled him behind the tower, out of sight.

“What're you doing?” Dylas hissed as Doug tried to keep their profile as close to the building as possible.

“We can't let them see us!” Doug hissed back. “Not after – after what they were saying!”

“You think this is going to look less suspicious?” Dylas asked. Doug supposed he had a point, what with the way Doug had pinned his chest against Dylas's broader one, but that wasn't the issue.

“I'm trying to stop them from seeing us at all!”

“Because nobody uses the observatory on Christmas?”

“Oh, shit,” Doug said. He could feel Dylas's heart thumping away in his chest and assumed the other man could feel his doing the same. “They probably won't come up together...right?”

“How would I know?”

“It'd be,” Doug said, pausing to swallow, “Scandalous.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dylas said, sucking in a deep breath. “I suppose it would.”

Dylas brought a finger to his lips. The fluffy tips of his ears twitched twice. He nodded and, very gently, took hold of Doug's shoulders and pushed him back a step.

“We're in the clear,” he said. “No footsteps nearby.”

He slid a hand down Doug's arm to hold his wrist instead and led him down the observatory steps. Doug collided with him as Dylas stopped abruptly by the entranceway. He didn't seem to notice. Dylas poked his head out, glanced from side to side, and pulled Doug out into the street.

“Made it,” Doug said. “Good listening back there.”

Dylas cast a suspicious eye over Doug's face before responding. Deciding that it wasn't a dig at his equine qualities, he nodded awkwardly. “Thanks.”

“Guess we'd better split up before we get caught again,” Doug joked. 

“Too late!” Porcoline said, bursting into the scene from nowhere. Well, Doug assumed he came from somewhere, but he sure as hell didn't see him and Dylas didn't hear him, judging by the way he leapt into the air when he heard his boss's voice. 

“We're not doing anything!” Dylas said.

“Yeah!” Doug said. “This isn't a date, no matter what Kiel's been saying!”

“Just a one night stand?” Porcoline asked. “You can still join us for breakfast in the morning, you know. If Dylas is gentlemanly enough to let you stay the night, which I'm sure he is.”

“That's not it!” Dylas said. “Doug's going home to his own bed!”

“Alone,” Doug added. 

“I'm just walking him there now,” Dylas said.

“Yeah, he's – huh?”

Dylas elbowed Doug in the ribs. Doug nodded vehemently, playing along.

“Better get going!” he said. “Granny will be worrying. See you, Porcoline!”

“Bon nuit, young lovers!”

Dylas dragged Doug towards his house without another word.

“What was that about?” Doug asked once they were out of earshot. “I can walk myself back fine!”

“You wanted me to be alone and listening to that until I could shake him off outside my bedroom?”

“Oh,” Doug said. “Yeah, that'd suck.” 

His house was in sight and therefore so was the end of the night. Time to put his wish to the test. He forced a laugh. “Funny how everyone thinks we're dating, huh?”

“Not really.”

“No?” Doug asked, trying to keep the disappointment from tinting his voice.

“I mean, imagine – I mean, hypothetically, here,” Dylas said, covering his mouth with a hand, “If one of us did like the other one like that, it would be kind of hurtful. Wouldn't it?”

“Yeah,” Doug agreed. “It could be. But it could also be hopeful.”

“What do you mean?” Dylas asked, stopping. Doug followed his lead and stopped beside him, glad of an excuse not to go in the front door to his house that was only a few metres away now.

“Well, like, for some reason everyone has this crazy idea that we're a thing, right?” Doug said, carefully avoiding Dylas's eyes. “So, if one of us did like the other – like you said, hypothetically speaking – they might, maybe, see it as a sign that we seem compatible. Maybe.”

“I – I guess,” Dylas said. “But we know that we're not.”

“Do we?” Doug asked, plunging into unknown territory. “How would we know?”

“We'd be like Nancy and Jones, I guess,” Dylas said, rubbing his arm.

“They weren't always like that, though. Not before they got to know each other.”

“But we do know each other,” Dylas pointed out. “And we don't have that kind of, uh, affection going on.”

“Granny says they show too much affection,” Doug said, primly. 

“Really? It's kind of sweet,” Dylas said. His eyes widened. “Or so some people have said!”

“You think so? I mean – they do?” If that was Dylas's thing, then Doug didn't want to come off as miserly with his affections. Even if Granny would purse her lips at the sight of it. “Yeah, it's pretty cool. I bet I'd be like that in a relationship. Super passionate and stuff.”

“Even in front of people?” Dylas asked.

“Sure!” Doug said, drunk on his own bravado. “No, wait, especially in front of people. Why be shy about something like that?”

“I think I'd hate that,” Dylas said, shielding his mouth with his fingers. “Being watched.”

Doug fought to keep his face neutral and not betray the panic coursing through him. “Oh, right.”

“So I guess that answers that, huh?” Dylas let out a hoarse chuckle. 

“No! I mean, wait,” Doug said, throwing pretence aside in a fit of desperation. “Hang on.”

He grabbed hold of Dylas's face – softer than he'd imagined, especially along the dip of scar tissue – and, standing on his tiptoes, pressed his lips against Dylas's for a second. He dropped down, scared of what reaction might erupt from Dylas, and fumbled in his pockets for his house keys. If Dylas was mad, he didn't want to be stuck outside a locked door with him.

“Uh,” Dylas said, finally, staring straight ahead at where Doug's face had been only moments ago when they'd kissed.

“Hey, there's no-one here,” Doug said, straining to keep his tone jovial. “Just like you like it, right?”

“Yeah,” Dylas said, giving a fraction of a nod. Doug wondered whether dwarf kisses turned ordinary humans into stone or something. Dylas didn't say anything more.

“Well,” Doug said, his heart sinking. It was a good job that he couldn't manage much of his dinner today; he was beginning to worry what little he'd taken in might be making a re-appearance. Time to make a getaway and hide under his bed covers in shame for the rest of the year.“'Night!”

“Wait!” Dylas said, grabbing Doug's hand with a grip so firm that Doug didn't think he really had any choice but to obey. He inched his head back to the other man just a little, just in time to meet Dylas's face as he crouched down to kiss him. Doug was too shocked to even close his eyes. It lasted only a little longer than their first but it was much sweeter without the worry of being rejected.

Dylas straightened up and resumed looking everywhere but at Doug. Doug began to understand how Dylas had felt; no monster had ever managed to stun him so thoroughly. 

“I, um, thought you might like a kiss goodnight,” Dylas mumbled. 

“Yeah,” Doug said, his brain simultaneously in overdrive assessing the situation and completely shut-down to all other considerations. “That was good.”

“Good,” Dylas said, nodding. “So, uh, see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Doug said. “Sounds good.”

Dylas skittered off back to Porcoline's. Doug thawed out enough to extract the house keys from his pocket, quietly let himself in and shuffled off to bed. It was only when he was ensconced in the sanctuary of his bed that the evening's events truly sunk in. He giddily hugged his pillow and rocked back and forth. He hadn't done a good job of explaining his wish, but the stars had got it just right anyway.


End file.
